Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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