I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
