I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
