I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
