oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
