Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
