is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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