I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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