Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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