worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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