they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
