lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
