I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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