dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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