Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I want to fling myself into the sun
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
