we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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