I like to think it a success when the cops are called
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
