I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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