so that wasnt chicken after all
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
