I just made out with a guy for $7.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
And then he peed in my hair
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