i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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