Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
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