this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
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Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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