there were more penises there than on chat roulette
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
