I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So much Jack, so little girl.
Randomize
