I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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