He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
