Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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