and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
