so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
