im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
