About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
