I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
