That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
