I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
