Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
