I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
