I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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