he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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