We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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