no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
