Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize