Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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