I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
