I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
