After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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