I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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