even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
