fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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