you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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