I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
