Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I think your dad took our porno
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
