oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
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