i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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