just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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