i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize