Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
