I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize