The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
