Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
