My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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